“I am having a hard time getting him to understand the role, beliefs, and behaviors of a submissive man. He can understand how a woman would submit but he seems to keep thinking that male submissives are only in it for the sexual aspect of it. He can’t separate sexual fantasies from actually being sub. He has insecurities and he is trying very hard to be open and learn more about the lifestyle. He was well aware of my kinks and beliefs prior to us seriously dating and I guess he thought I was going to give it up once we got serious. I want him to understand the lifestyle and be okay with me participating even if he isn’t interested.”
She went on to say that she doesn’t expect him to become her sub as she can satisfy her dominant needs through the local scene where she plays but she wants him to understand the dynamics from a male submissive point of view to ease his insecurities. She wants to preempt problems from occurring in their relationship as a result of her filling what is an important need for her and an expression of her nature. She asked to allow him to contact me directly to ask questions and see if he might gain some insight into what being a submissive man is really about.
Obviously I am flattered that she would choose me as someone she trusted to talk with her boyfriend about an issue important to their relationship, yet I am wondering exactly what I can say to him. Obviously since I am a submissive man I “get it” because I feel it and understand that aspect of my nature. But that’s just the thing, it’s a feeling thing not a knowledge thing. I can impart to him my beliefs and philosophies and explain how submitting makes me feel but he can’t feel that through me. So will sharing my perspective really help him understand?