The Man Behind the Blog

Posting personal and intimate thoughts to a blog offers a needed and welcome outlet for recording my thoughts and experiences but in a very comfortable and secure environment of anonymity. While the world can seem a big place, it can oftentimes also seem actually quite small. For obvious reasons I may not wish for everyone who might have occasion to come across this blog to be able to connect it with me personally. My journey into D/s and my exploration of my submissiveness are very personal issues which I keep separate from my public life.

That being said, after reading something similar to what I am writing about today, as host of this blog I felt a need for greater transparency about me, the man behind this blog, and what I'm about. Given the rather narrow focus I have adopted thus far in my previous posts I would like the readers to see me more as a total person and perhaps that might make this all a bit more interesting to read. So in the interest of more clarity about who I am, not only as a submissive man but as a person, I have sort of “interviewed” myself and offered here today some answers to questions that at least I imagined people might like to ask and that might be of general interest to anyone who would care to know me a bit better. If I've left off something that is of interest to anyone, please let me know and I will try to answer your questions.

Personal Bio:

I will begin with a little more about me, the person. I am a single white male, 46 years old, with no dependents, but I do have two adult children from my past marriage. I am the eldest of four siblings with loving parents who are still married and retired. As mentioned I was married once for a good long time but have now been divorced for many years. I have often considered the question; Would I want to get married again? Yes, I think I would like to experience marriage again at some point but as you might surmise if you have followed my blog, I would only wish to be married to a dominant woman who shared my desire for a female led relationship with a matriarchal dynamic. I am not actively seeking such a relationship right now because I am honestly very satisfied with the relationship I enjoy with my current Mistress, even though it is a distance relationship and due to a number of factors, she is not available to me as a real time partner. I do date casually in the vanilla sense but I am not involved in an intimate relationship at present. But were I to find an interested, confident and strong, naturally dominant female who could embrace my submissive instincts, desires and personality, then I could definitely find a sincere interest in engaging in a committed relationship. I do like kids and I enjoy being a father, a responsibility I take very seriously. But at my age I would not be interested in fathering children but would of course be accepting of children that a prospective partner might have. I had a very normal and happy childhood myself, which I am very grateful to my parents for providing me. My parents were quite strict with me but I never doubted that I was loved and that was important. I grew up in a small Midwestern town and come from a middle class background. At present I live in a large metropolitan area which I like a great deal because I love the easy availability of the many recreational and dining opportunities available to one living in a large urban area.

Physical Stats:

I am 5’-9” and pretty much height/weight proportionate, although I could stand to lose a few pounds. For most of my life I have been very active and have participated in regular fitness pursuits with the exception of the last couple of years. I have been for much of my life a long distance runner and have regularly competed in long distance races. I have since the age of 36, completed six 26.2 mile marathon races. Two years ago I suffered a very severe muscle tear while training and though I have now fully recovered, I have really had a hard time finding the motivation to work out and run regularly as had been my previous habit. I am hoping to correct that however and have just recently started a new fitness regimen that I plan to stick with and hopefully in the not too distant future I will back to racing again. I have moderate body hair, more than I like actually, and while naturally I had very dark brown hair, I have the salt and pepper look now and am balding on top. I keep my hair cut very short and conservatively as I think that is the best look once you begin loosing your hair. I wear a size 9 shoe of average width. As far as my overall looks, I try to dress stylishly in keeping with my age. Women have at times told me that I was handsome but I personally consider myself to be of average looks. I try to eat a healthful diet but I am not a vegetarian and I always get enough sleep. I am comfortable with who I am physically but understand the need to give more attention to getting back into shape and not letting things slide. I practice good personal hygiene and I am in excellent health.

Submission/Sex:

I am straight as far as sexual orientation and I have no bi-sexual tendencies or interests. I do enjoy having intercourse with a female I care about but I don’t engage in casual sex. If I were in a real life relationship with a dominant woman and she wanted me to “take the lead” in the bedroom, I would be willing and able to do that to please her as long as it was understood that she was the dominant partner. As far as D/s I don’t see myself as a switch and I don't “top from the bottom.” If I were forced to choose between being allowed to use only my penis or only my tongue for sex, I would definitely choose my tongue. I absolutely adore and crave pleasuring a woman orally as for me, that really defines what sex is all about; devoted dedication to the orgasmic pleasure of my female partner. Even in my vanilla relationships, I have always given top priority to her pleasure over mine. I simply love pleasing a woman and that is what brings me pleasure. If she wants intercourse then of course I am okay with that but I adore a woman who likes receiving respectful and attentive oral sex and I will offer it for as long as she wants it. As far as intercourse goes, my favorite lovemaking position assuming I am given a choice is as you might imagine, “woman on top”. I love this position because it allows me to give attention to her breasts, tummy, hips and clit yet it gives her complete control over angle, thrust and pace. The last time I had sex as much as I hate to admit it was almost ten months ago and was a “friends with benefits” thing. I do masturbate of course but at present the frequency and the decision on whether I am allowed to orgasm is totally under the control of my Mistress. I do enjoy this however as the restriction of my orgasms serves to make them even more intense and pleasurable. I love the anticipation and having to wait for the release.

Fun/Leisure:

I have a wide variety of interests and there are lots of things I enjoy doing to relax and have fun. I love to travel and have been fortunate that I have had the opportunity to do a good bit of it during the past several years. Right now I am in the midst of planning a vacation to Europe where I will be traveling to this Fall. I also enjoy just getting away and driving someplace for the weekend. Again I am fortunate to be located in an area where there are many different interesting and fun places to visit within a few hours distance by car. I really enjoy seeing new places but of course there are also old favorites that I visit again and again. I really love running although I have not been doing enough of it lately. I competed in track in both my high school and college years, running middle distances. Later during my military years I tried longer distances eventually leading me to compete in 5K, 10K and ultimately marathon races. That is really something I want to get back into doing as I have truly missed the competition and camaraderie of the running culture. I love to read and have very eclectic tastes in books, but I’d say my favorite books are biographies, historical works and classic novels. My favorite novel of all time is To Kill a Mockingbird. I am friendly and open to meeting new people but I have only about half a dozen close friends at any given time. I do enjoy going out to dinner or to catch a movie with friends whenever I can. I do enjoy movies and especially like older films. My favorite movie ever is Casablanca. A new interest that I acquired recently is backpacking and I have made several backpacking trips both with friends and solo. I really love and appreciate the outdoors. I do enjoy fishing occasionally but I am not into hunting. I am just now giving some thought to learning how to rock climb and plan to try that very soon. Eventually I think I might even like to try a bit of alpine climbing. Investing is another passion for me and I enjoy it for a lot of reasons other than simply for the profit potential. I can just enjoy sitting down and reading a bunch of financial statements and then pick stocks of interesting companies that I’d like to invest in.

Work/Professional:

I am employed full-time and a degreed professional. I am financially stable and don’t have to think twice before adding a book, CD or DVD to my collections. As far as what I do specifically for a living, I have to maintain a separation between what I do professionally and this blog simply because there is a good deal of misinformation and misunderstanding about D/s and I am not confident my personal proclivities would be received in a positive light by my employer and professional associates. Some people are fortunate enough to meld their professional and private lives, but unfortunately I am not. I live I think pretty modestly but only because I enjoy saving and investing for the future. I will never be rich but I anticipate a comfortable retirement and hope to further indulge my passion for travel when my work years are behind me. I drive a Jeep which is my vehicle of choice and a 4x4 works well with my new interest, backpacking.

So there you have it, a glimpse into my life as a single, sincere, and submissive man. As mentioned previously, if you have questions I haven't answered, do feel free to email or post a comment and I will try to answer them.