Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Submissive Knight

Recently I received this response to post I made on another blog from a dominant women who I have come to develop great respect and admiration for. I am using her response here to make a point or two but since I haven’t asked her permission in advance I am not going to reveal the person or the blog but simply reproduce her comments here…

“I want to thank Joe for posting and the wonderful well thought out contribution to the blog. He is a smart and very strong willed man who has freely given himself to the women in his life. As a girl you can't help but to think what would it be like to be held in his strong arms. I am sure that he knows how to please his Mistress on many levels. As a submissive man he is more of the knight than the slave. If it were not for wanting to please the female in his life, I have a feeling he could actually be very dominant. I have a feeling Joe is dominant with other men.”

Actually, I can’t stress enough how amazingly insightful I find this woman to be because she so clearly sensed, perhaps intuitively my nature from simply a few paragraphs of prose that I contributed to a topic under discussion. I do like to think I am somewhat intelligent but not in a prideful sort of way. I spent a good deal of money obtaining what I believe was a quality education from a respected institution of higher learning. Additionally, due to my age I have a good bit of life experience from which to draw and I like to think I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way. And she was right on target with her assumption that I do tend to be quite dominant in the way I relate to other people in my public life and have always seemed to gravitate towards positions of employment where I am cast in a very dominant role. I like to think I have some natural abilities as a leader and the U. S. Army did expend a good deal of time and resources polishing me into a tactically and technically proficient combat unit leader. In fact since “submissive” has a rather negative, milk toast connotation for members of society in general, I seriously doubt that you would be able to find anyone who knows me in a public sense that would characterize me as submissive. Finally she clearly observed it seemed, my willingness and sincere desire to submit in my private intimate relationships to a strong, dominant female personality. I see the submissive part of my nature not so much as defining me as a person but more so as making a positive contribution to the whole. And her opinion that she considered me more of a knight than a slave with respect to my submissive expression is something that after giving it considerable thought, I found myself in agreement with.

Submissive men come from all walks of life, from every stripe and flavor. Submission cuts across all boundaries or race, ethnicity, age and sexual orientation. While I may consider myself to be of the “knightly” bent, I hasten to add that in no way do I consider this superior in any sense to those submissive men who find it meaningful and choose to offer their submission in a different way. Some submissive men are as I characterize myself, very masculine in the traditional sense and quite comfortable and secure in their masculinity. Others are softer, even effeminate to a degree and I think that has just as much value because they are being the person they are and expressing themselves as real. That is great because to me diversity is the one thing that makes life such an interesting journey. It is also convenient because I have met just as many authentic dominant women who prefer the softer, less overtly male, more effeminate type of submissive man as those I have met who have a preference for the more typically masculine type. Definitely both types of submissive men are needed and should be valued. Obviously, I have very much simplified this by drawing a comparison between two extremes, because along the full submissive male continuum, one would find lots of varied personalities and blends of the two extremes I have compared.

To me there is nothing wrong with being masculine, and I do in fact strongly self-identity myself that way. I simply choose to depart from the traditional patriarchal society definition of what it means to be and act as a man. I do not at all and in fact condemn any notion that being male means that I am superior to women by virtue of the fact that nature has arbitrarily chosen to bestow me with a penis between my legs, that I should dominate women, that I should sexually objectify women, that I should treat women rudely or disrespectfully, or that I should not take them and their opinions seriously. In fact I have always revered, respected and admired females and the important contributions they make to society which I myself have been blessed to benefit from. I do not submit to every female, not even to ever dominant female, yet I honor and defer to each and every one of them. As a male of straight sexual orientation it is quite normal and natural that I find the female body attractive and exciting but that does not mean I should use that as an excuse to view the female body as an object which serves only the singular purpose of an ends to a means of my personal sexual gratification. There is so much more to a woman than that. Considering my mother, my sisters, my daughters and my close female friends, I could not hope to even come close to making the kind of positive impact and contributions to the world that they make routinely as women.

Submission to me is a means by which I can express both in tangible and intangible ways my honest and sincere admiration and respect for the female sex. A strong, dominant female both in and out of the bedroom is my ideal as the quintessential intimate relationship partner. Serving a dominant female both sexually and non-sexually and pleasing her in exactly the way she wants to be pleased, provides me with indescribably joy, pleasure and meaning.

Yes, as I think of it, I do see the rightness of the analogy between the knight and the submissive man. Consider this excerpt from the Charge Given to the Arthurian Knights and see if you, as I do, can easily pick out the similarities.

“God make you a good man and fail not of beauty. The Round Table was founded in patience, humility, and meekness. Thou art never to do outrageousity, nor murder, and always to flee treason, by no means to be cruel, and always to do ladies, damsels, and gentle women succor. Also, to take no battles in a wrongful quarrel for no law nor for no world's goods.

Thou shouldst be for all ladies and fight for their quarrels, and ever be courteous and never refuse mercy to him that asketh mercy, for a knight that is courteous and kind and gentle has favor in every place. Thou shouldst never hold a lady or gentle woman against her will.

Thou must keep thy word to all and not be feeble of good believeth and faith. Right must be defended against might and distress must be protected. Thou must know good from evil and the vain glory of the world, because great pride and bobauce maketh great sorrow. Should anyone require ye of any quest so that it is not to thy shame, thou shouldst fulfill the desire.

Thou shouldst not fail in these things: charity, abstinence and truth. Therefore be a good knight and so I pray to God so ye may be…”

The knights of old were skilled in the art of falconry, adept at arms, fearless in battle, generous and loyal, yet even for them the woman was both predictor and precipitator of the knight's ultimate fulfillment. The good knight accepted that without question and yielded to it immediately; recognizing his rite of passage into manhood was afforded him only by a woman. The same it seems to me is true of the submissive man as our greatest and highest potential as a man can only be realized through obedient submission to a dominant female.


Anonymous said...

Hello Joe - I stumbled upon your blog today and enjoyed this post as I can sense that you are down to earth and 'real' in your life. You've struck a healthy balance between 'life' and your internal desires and what you gravitate toward. I'll be back to read more. Enjoy your day.


joe said...


Thank you so much for reading and for your affirming comment. I'm very pleased that you have found my blog and hope you will continue to visit and comment. Always feel free to share your thoughts as I love the opportunity to hear new opinions and perspectives. Hope you have an enjoyable day as well.


Anonymous said...

I just came across this post and although it is almost five years old, the information is still relevant and well written. Thanks!

愛兔 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Nicely done ^_^ !!! Same here just came across this as well. I enjoyed your thoughts very much...I truly thought that the knights were extinct. Now I know they still exist they're just hard to find.

Thank you for sharing Joe.