My Dear Mistress,
For this week's mantra, I began my preparations again on Saturday evening by freshly trimming my pubic hair and then by using a razor to shape the area in an attractive manner and to smoothly shave my scrotum area. I keep this area well maintained for you just as if I am always expecting your personal inspection.
I postponed performance of our weekly ritual until the afternoon because I was focused on the orgasm denial task I am also currently performing for you. I have been experiencing the most incredibly high state of arousal since beginning the task on Saturday and this of course carried over into my weekly mantra performance this afternoon. I took a nice hot shower so that I felt fresh and clean and after drying off, I put your collar on my neck and went to our special place reserved for our Sunday ritual. This week you did not give me any special instructions beyond the topic for the week that I was to focus on. So I kneeled for you in the corner, knees widely spread, back straight, head held eye and eyes downcast. Today I chose to modify the position slightly by placing my arms behind my back with my wrists crosses, as if waiting to be bound. I then closed my eyes and thought about you and considered what thoughts I might share with you about the topic for today. Continuing my practice of extending the length of time I kneel for you in honor of your authority and control over me, this week I remained in my submissive position for forty minutes. After completing that portion of the mantra, I then sat down and composed my response to the topic you assigned me.
Topic Assignment: “Lately we've been talking about our fantasies, and I think that your first major task from me you're hopefully describing the fantasy of what you'd want us to do in our first meeting. For your Sunday Mantra I would like you to consider fantasies, both yours and mine, and what roles these may play in a D/s relationship.”
Sexual fantasies are deliberate patterns of thoughts which we use with the goal of creating or enhancing sexual feelings and arousal. This mental imagery usually involves specific sexual things that an individual considers erotic. A fantasy can be a long, drawn-out story simply a quick mental flash of sexual imagery. We are motivated to indulge ourselves in fantasies for a wide range of reasons such as achieving sexual arousal, reaching orgasm, or simply to pass them time or help us to fall asleep.
I feel that indulging in fantasies is a normal and healthy part of sex for men and women. In fact, many who have researched this phenomenon believe that a rich fantasy life actually leads to better sexual experiences for those who engage in fantasies. I think that a sexual fantasy may be a positive or negative experience, or even both. It can reflect our actual past experiences as well as influence our future sexual encounters.
I think we sometimes use sexual fantasies to experience very real and intense sexual feelings and at other times our intent may be more of a whimsical pursuit. For example, I often fantasize about engaging in certain sexual acts with you that I would really want to experience if we were together. A few examples include such things as giving you a sensual full body massage, performing cunnilingus or analingus on you, kissing and licking your body all over from head to toe in devoted worship, having you straddle by face and smothering my face and mouth with your pussy while I give you oral sex, having you use my cock to pleasure yourself sexually, and even from time to time simply imagining us having normal intercourse. Having you take me with a strap on is another frequent fantasy I have and that is something I could also easily imagine trying. Sometimes I even fantasize about serving you in less overt sexual ways such as bringing you food or drink, drawing your bath water, performing chores for you, etc. But these are also fantasies that do produce sexual arousal for me because for some reason I link pleasing you with the sexual.
In the more whimsical realm, I like many people I expect, sometimes fantasize about sexual things which I would not actually wish to enact sexually in real life. A good example which I recently shared with you was my fantasy about you giving me an over the knee spanking in a public place, like a park setting, where a few curious bystanders witnessed the scene. I do of course find this mentally to be extremely arousing, but on a number of levels it is far too intimidating and scary to me for me to actually wish to do it. I have many fantasies of this sort involving things I do enjoy imagining and find arousing, but that I would not actually do in real life. I think this is one of the most attractive aspects of sexual fantasies as we can explore things that escape real-life sexual restraints and imagine ourselves being subjected to things like being raped, kidnapped or even castrated, which of course would be extremely dangerous or even illegal to do in real life. Since the fantasy process is entirely imaginary, I don’t think we are limited to the acceptable or practical and we can choose to use fantasy as an outlet for imagining engaging in any of the most wild, lustful things that we can imagine without the restrictions of societal taboo. In other words it gives us the license to safely explore the forbidden.
I happened to find a list of the “ten most common” sexual fantasies for men and so I will conclude my report this week by commenting on how these may apply to me;
1. Sexual fantasies about having sex with your current partner. (This was also number one for women as well).
This one certainly applies to me as I often fantasize about things I would like to experience with you sexually. Since I am not presently in a real life intimate relationship, then in a very real sense I do see you as my current partner so naturally my sexual thoughts are focused on you.
2. Having sex with a woman other than your partner.
While I seem most focused on you these days, I have in the past indulged in fantasies about having sex past lover’s, celebrities, and even women who were perfect strangers.
3. Giving or receiving oral sex.
This one also applies to me but I do tend to fantasize much more about giving oral sex to a woman than receiving it. When fantasizing about receiving it, I tend mostly to imagine her using oral sex as a means of teasing me rather than to bring me to orgasm.
4. Sex with two or more women at the same time.
Yes, a common fantasy for me but I have never indulged in this particular fantasy in the sense of me playing the role of some “super stud” capable of satisfying more than one woman at a time. I tend to fantasize about having to give multiple women oral sex or watching them involved in girl on girl.
5. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism.
Yes, I do have these fantasies as well, but I tend more towards the voyeurism aspect than the exhibitionism in that I fantasize for example about being made to watch while your lover ravages you. My exhibition fantasies usually center on scenarios where you force me to expose myself in situations that cause me to feel embarrassed or humiliated. For example, we go to party at one of your friend’s house and you make me remove all my clothing and expose myself for their amusement.
6. Having your partner masturbate for you.
Oh yes, I think about this one quite a lot and imagine watching you masturbate as a means of teasing me when you are making me endure orgasm denial.
7. Having anal sex.
This does apply but mostly my fantasies about this involve you taking me with a strap on or using toys in my bottom.
8. Sadomasochistic (S and M) fantasies.
Definitely yes on this one as I do often fantasize about things like being bound, whipped, and spanked. While of course I would also be willing and eager to engage in all of those things in real life, in my fantasies they are usually more extreme than I’d really want to experience in real life. For example, being in bondage for days or being whipped, canned, or cropped in a more extreme way than I might actual enjoy in real life.
9. Sexual ravaging.
I do have fantasies of this sort in the sense of being forced to have sex with a woman which of course indulges my submissive sexual side. On of my favorites in the category is my Mistress requiring me to service one of her friends.
10. Sex with another man.
I do admit to having this sort of fantasy from time to time but I actually am not sexually attracted to other men. I was actually relieved to find this is a common fantasy for men. My fantasies in one on one situations always involve the scenario of being over-powered and forced. But I actually do enjoy those occasionally. Also I experience these fantasies in the sense of a being a part of a threesome with another male being present. In those we don’t actually engage in intimacy with each other but are both focused on pleasuring the woman or one of us is made to watch while she has sex with the other.
In summary I do feel that sexual fantasies is a normal and healthy part of our sex lives and I think they play a very important role in our relationship since we are involved in a distance relationship and aren’t able to experience things together physically.
With all devotion,
Art: The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife by Hokusai, is an artistic depiction of a sexual fantasy.