Feminism these days gets a pretty bad rap in general. There is the stereotypical crazed, hairy, man-hating lesbian for starters. But something else feminists get accused of is “emasculation.” According to the Urban Feminist, “…the man-hating thing is partly a myth constructed in order to foster distaste for feminism and to introduce the idea that feminism is actually inherently sexist.” She goes on to say that “it's also partly the fault of women who go around saying things like, ‘All men are bastards,’ which frankly is usually because they only go out with bastards.”
Besides the fact that I simply love the way this woman writes, I was drawn to her blog initially by the subject she wrote about, emasculation. To me emasculation is part and parcel of the concept of male submission within the context of a female led relationship. Many of the things that submissive men are called upon to perform and even to a large extent, their behavior is in fact the practice of emasculation. Masculinity and femininity are cultural concepts that have little to do with gender. They have been constructed by a patriarchal society to exaggerate the small personality differences between men and women (e.g. men are generally more aggressive and women are generally more nurturing). This is used to perpetuate a culture in which men rule the roost while women have the babies and perform the mundane domestic chores. The pressure to fit into these stereotypes and the male dominance inherent in them is something that feminists generally are not too happy about and which certainly are foreign to the concept of female led, D/s relationships.
While submissive men may be subjected to emasculinization to some degree within a female led relationship, I think it is just as much a women being de-femininized, at least in the sense of how patriarchal society defines the male and female roles. Every person should have the right to be who they are within reason. Personally I feel most like me when I am submitting to an assertive, strong, dominant female and I actually feel more like a man when doing so than when fulfilling the outmoded and silly role assigned to me by patriarchal society. I do not see dominance in a female as making her less, but incredibly more sexy and feminine because she is being empowered to be the person she really is.
Patriarchal society defines masculinity in such a way that I feel it contributes to the mistreatment and general disrespecting of women. In that paradigm, women are viewed as second class citizens. Any feeling of superiority to someone just because I have a penis and they don't, refusing to do housework or valuing women solely for their fuckability is simply wrong and not a part of any definition of masculinity that I subscribe to.
I think that masculinity should be about self-identifying as a male, period. Beyond that in terms of relations between the sexes, it should be about using one's greater size and strength for protection rather than dominance. It should be about valuing women as human beings rather than as potential depositories of my penis and semen. Emasculation I think is just a nice term for a process that helps me to rid myself of the negative behaviors and beliefs inherent in society’s definition of what it means to act like a man. Emasculation to me does not bring to my mind images of castration but is to me simply the logical way of male submission and radical departure from the patriarchal concept of misogyny.
I am expanding the scope of Her Property in the hopes of improving it and making it more relevant and interesting for those who take the time to visit and read. I am planning some new features which I hope readers will enjoy. First as you may have noticed, I have posted my first poll and will continue using polls as a means for allowing readers to share their opinions on topics relevant to domination and submission and D/s relationships. Interviews with interesting people involved in the lifestyle are a second feature that is being added. I have just completed my first interview with a very engaging dominant female whom I am sure readers will be interested in getting to know. I will be posting her interview on Monday, April 28 and you won’t want to miss it! I think it will be interesting for readers to have the opportunity to read the thoughts, opinions and perspectives of other dominant and submissive people and that is the purpose for the new interview feature.