Men are rather simple creatures and we have the tendency to think more with our “little head” than with the one on top of our shoulders. Most men think about sex pretty much all the time and seek gratification through orgasms as frequently as possible. That is just how we're wired and when we are unrestrained we can often actually be out of control. Even as a submissive man, I am not immune to this condition which I will term “penis-centric”. A man's sexuality is defined and centered on his cock. A hot wire of desire and impulse runs directly from the penis to brain. Often a man feels defined by his manhood and the feelings it gives him. Receiving gratification simply makes us crave more gratification.
To illustrate what I mean by this, on this past Wednesday, my Mistress gave me an assignment to masturbate while fantasizing and then to report to her on my experience. Generously, she did give me permission to masturbate to orgasm which of course I appreciated because she wasn’t compelled to allow that. I completed the assignment per her instructions and experienced a most amazingly intense orgasm. One would think that would have taken care of my needs for several days but no! On Thursday I was so aroused all day that I could barely stand it and all I could think of, besides my wonderful Mistress of course, was how badly I wanted to touch my cock. Come to think of it, perhaps thinking of my Mistress was the explanation for that! Friday was much the same and judging by the fact that I awakened this morning with a beautiful erection that I was barely able to restrain myself from stroking, it seems today may be the same. You would think I hadn’t had any sexual gratification for weeks as horny as I have felt these past three days. There you have it, the more gratification we get, the more we want. Even when I am in an intimate relationship I still feel the frequent need for self-pleasuring myself to supplement the sex I get regardless of how often I get sex. And when not in a relationship I really feel the need for frequent masturbation when left to my own devices.
On the surface, there is of course nothing wrong with self-pleasuring. In fact I recently read that it is very healthful for men and their prostate to experience regular orgasms. But as a submissive man, even with my limited experience and understanding, I have already learned that there is a direct correlation between having my penis and my orgasms controlled and the quality and quantity of my submissive feelings. Limiting my orgasms makes me a much more attentive, compliant and submissive man. Immediately after orgasm my level of arousal has been dissipated and I find this is the time that I feel least submissive and tend to be more self-centered and self-absorbed.
Women throughout history have long known that most men are driven almost entirely by their penises. Because of this fact, men can be very charming, caring, considerate and eager to please to a woman in order to get sex and gain her assistance in achieving an orgasm. But once the orgasm has occurred, men tend to put all of that aside until the next urge for sexual relief. What’s more, if he doesn’t have or can’t find a woman to assist him in achieving that relief, he’ll naturally resort to masturbation and will take care of the problem on his own.
Managing a man’s penis and controlling the frequency of his orgasms is the key to controlling the man and that is why there is a need for women to take control of the situation. Limiting your man’s orgasms by providing them sparingly and only when he has earned the privilege by pleasing you is one effective way to bring him and keep him in line. By becoming the sole proprietor of his manhood you pave the way to making him the man you have always wanted and you hold the key to ensuring that he remains loving, loyal, and respectful to you always.
My submissive nature drives me to always want to serve, please and ultimately delight my Mistress on every level, but I know that having my penis controlled, my access to self-pleasure managed, and my orgasms restricted, makes me work even harder to please and serve her. The longer I am denied orgasm, the more compliant and deeper I feel my submission. Added side benefits that I have recently discovered is that having my orgasms limited also seems to stimulate my creativity and increase my overall energy levels.
My Mistress is very loving and caring towards me and I think that partly explains why she has not yet subjected me to any extreme denial thus far. She does insist on having complete control of my orgasms. I am not permitted to cum unless she requires it or gives me permission and I am required to always thank her for orgasms in recognition of her control. Yet she does not at present restrict me from touching my cock or even masturbating. The lesson I believe I have learned during the past three days while I have been uber horny is that when strong arousal is combined with orgasm control, the benefits are magnified. As my arousal builds my feelings of submission become deeper and even more intense. My selflessness, attentiveness, compliance and desire to please also increase exponentially. This seems to suggest at least to me that my Mistress might capitalize on this by not only simply controlling and limiting my orgasms but by also managing my access to my penis. For example, on certain days I might be forbidden to touch my penis at all for sexual pleasure. On other days I might be required to masturbate until I have performed a set number of edges. I think both of these activities would powerfully serve to drive my level of arousal to even greater heights resulting in the benefits I have enumerated.
For me, being a submissive man means re-focusing my energies on non-penile pursuits. True submission really is about selflessness, attentiveness and overall obedience. It is about putting my Mistress's needs, desires and happiness ahead of my own. I'm glad I have finally learned that life is really not all about my penis!