Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sunday Mantra: Erotic Humiliation

My Weekly Sunday Mantra report to my Mistress...

For this week's mantra, as has become my habit, I began my preparations again with attention to personal hygiene by freshly trimming my pubic hair and then by using a razor to shape the area in an attractive manner and to smoothly shave my scrotum. As you instructed me, for this week this activity also required that I shape my pubic hair into an “L” in honor of you, Mistress Lily. Actually it proved to be more difficult than I imagined and once finished I wasn’t completely satisfied with the look. My pubic hair has still not grown back very thickly since the last time I was completely shaved so the appearance of the “L” did not seem to really jump out. So I hope you will be pleased by my decision to outline the hairline with a black sharpie so that it was more visible. I then took the photograph as you instructed and I posted it to our special thread in the Academy forums.

After a hot shower so that I felt fresh and clean I then proceeded to perform our weekly ritual in the manner you prescribed. I put your collar on my neck and went to our special place reserved for our Sunday ritual, taking with me “your” panties, my medium anal plug and lubricant. I misted the corner with your perfume, Britney Spears's Curious, and then I lubed and inserted my anal plug. Kneeling in my usual fashion, knees widely spread, back straight, my arms resting on my thighs, palms upturned, head held eye and eyes downcast, I then gagged myself with “your” panties and contemplated the topic you assigned me for today. After thirty minutes, I moved to the computer, sat down and composed my response to the topic assignment…

Topic Assignment: “For this Sunday Mantra's I would like you to consider at what lengths you would go to please your Mistress. How much humiliation are you willing to endure? What things don't excite you at all, but that you are willing to do if I asked you? Please list for me at least 5 THINGS you would be willing to do for me.”

There is of course a huge difference between humiliation and degradation. There are of course also variances in the degree of humiliation and the degree to which a particular person might perceive feelings of humiliation for any particular task. One person might find an activity either only mildly embarrassing or not even humiliating at all. Another person might find the very same activity produces very strong feelings of humiliation. And yet another may feel degraded by having to do the very same activity. In other words, it does vary from person to person depending upon how much the person enjoys and needs humiliation play. I know I do have an attraction for humiliation play but I think only in the sense where something causes me to feel humiliated in a mild rather than extreme degree. For me personally one form of verbal humiliation is a good example of an activity that would be too extreme. I know that some male submissives enjoy having the size of their cock ridiculed. For me, if my dominant ridiculed me for having a tiny or unattractive cock, that would make me feel degraded and it would be very hurtful for me and just too extreme. I would not find it erotic or arousing at all. However, other forms of verbal humiliation, like being called certain names would I think be something I would find humiliating, but also arousing and erotic (e.g. “slut”, “pussy boy”, etc.).

There are also many activities that I would find humiliating to have to perform, but would be comfortable with and find to be erotic. Being made to wear female panties is a good example. I would feel a degree of humiliation by being made to do it but at the same time I also feel that it would be something I liked and found arousing. So while having to wear female panties would provide a degree of humiliation for me, since I would like doing it that isn’t something that fits the criteria of your topic for today. Yet since cross-dressing is not a kink of mine, the fact that I would willingly submit to having to wear female panties does not mean I would find wearing other female clothing enjoyable. As I was thinking about this particular thing, it occurred to me that things like those you wanted me to list. Activities I would find humiliating but that don't excite me at all and that I would not want to do, but would be willing to do if you asked me to, are mostly in the area of forced feminization activities. So the list I composed are predominantly forced feminization activities. I did however think of a couple of other types of activities to list, so here is what I came up with;

  • Being required to wear feminine lingerie items other than panties (e.g. bras, garter belts, hosiery, corsets, teddies, baby doll nighties, etc.)

  • Being required to wear lipstick.

  • Being required to paint my toenails with colored polish.

  • Being required to wear tampons or pads and simulate being on a period. Just the act of buying these things would be humiliating.

  • With regard to wearing panties, if I was made to wear them and then risk being seen wearing them or actually allowing someone to see me wearing them as in having briefly appear outside in panties or having to post photographs of me wearing them, that would definitely fall in the category you are looking for.

Here are a couple of other things I thought of that aren’t associated with forced feminization but that would also be in the category of things that I’d find humiliating and wouldn’t enjoy or want to do, but that I would do if you asked;

  • Eating my cum is not something I like and is something I find humiliating so this fits the category. Also if I were made to masturbate in a position where my cum would spurt into my mouth or on my face, that is something that would be humiliating and not something I would want to do but would if you asked.

  • I explored pee play with a task I performed at the Academy. While wetting myself was mildly humiliating, being made to wet myself while in public would meet the criteria of this topic. I wouldn’t even be able to do it if someone would definitely witness it, but even though it isn’t something I would want to do or find enjoyable, under controlled conditions with a small risk of being seen, I would do this and it would be very humiliating.

  • Having to perform fellatio on a realistic dildo would also be something that fits the criteria. It would be even more humiliating to have to beg to do it before performing the act.

Hopefully the list I compiled meets the criteria of what you were looking for with the topic assignment for this week. After completing and posting my report, I then removed the plug and cleaned up.

With all obedience,

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