Monday, April 21, 2008

Men in Panties Revisited

It’s only been about a week since I discussed men wearing panties but one day this past week I completed an assignment I had been given to go to a well known women’s lingerie store and purchase a pair of panties. That experience of course brought the topic back to mind and in thinking about it, I had what I thought was a new perspective on the whole idea of men wearing panties that hopefully will be of interest to my readers.

From my reading on various web sites I have come to conclude that with regard to sentiment, most submissive men find it humiliating to be made to wear female panties but also erotic and arousing at the same time. The same has been true of my own feelings and I actually suspected that it wasn’t so much the physical act of wearing panties since cross-dressing is not a kink for me, but the humiliation inherent in being made to wear panties that produces the sense of eroticism.

This past week I was discussing this very issue with a new dominant female acquaintance and she told me that while she does require her male submissives to wear panties she went on to explain that she does not do so for the purpose of humiliating them. She offered several reasons why she has her submissive men to wear them. She mentioned that she simply loves seeing a man in panties because she finds them incredibly sexy on a man. She feels that he thinks of her when he is wearing them and men have told her that wearing panties created a more submissive feeling for them. She also acknowledged that she does understand that men generally do find it humiliating which is another reason she finds it personally erotic as she appreciates a man’s willingness to perform something for her that he finds humiliating and it makes her feel close to him and happy with him.

Requiring her submissive man to wear panties is simply another tool in the arsenal of the dominant female to control her man. Controlling what a man wears is a big part of controlling the man. By controlling his dress she extends the overall effect of the control he feels. I think this requirement could also enhance and intensify a submissive man’s feelings of vulnerability and thus enhance his awareness of his submissiveness. One Mistress with who I am acquainted offered several reasons she felt keeping her submissive man in panties was a good idea;

  • On the practical side keeping a submissive in panties only when in the house cuts down on the laundry.
  • There are times when it is hard for submissive men to be in the frame of mind to serve his Mistress. Having to wear female panties helps him to focus on his submissiveness and keeps him in a service oriented frame of mind.
  • Having a man parade around in panties makes it easier for him to understand his place. Sometimes even the best and most devoted of submissive men need a reminder of their role.

All of these new ideas and perspectives on men in panties has given me cause to ponder why this is something that produces humiliation or at least mildly embarrassing feelings for many submissive men. Is it because we see this practice as emasculation to a degree? Speaking for myself, with of course the exception of my submissive nature, I consider myself to be a fairly typical male and I strongly identify with my masculine role. Being a male is something I am comfortable with and I really don’t consider myself to be effeminate. As a result I do as I’ve shared previously, view feminization or sissification activities with a good deal of trepidation. As I examined my feelings introspectively I think the reason that idea intimidates me is not because it would threaten my masculine identity but stems rather from childhood when I was conditioned to refrain from any activity that would cause others to view me as a “sissy”. For a male child to be called a “sissy” was about the most devastating insult imaginable. The term sissy at its origin is a feminine nickname. Used as a pejorative for a boy or man, sissy indicates or implies that he is like a sister, that is, effeminate and failing to behave according to the traditional male gender role (e.g. showing a lack of the courage and stoicism which are thought important to the male role). Perhaps this is why wearing female panties produces those feelings of embarrassment or even mild humiliation as it recalls to the male mind, that childhood prohibition against doing something unmanly or feminine which would call into question his masculinity, as society tends to define that role.

One of the things I most value about my submissive experience is it allows me to shed the mindset that I have to live up to and conduct myself according to a patriarchal society definition of the male role. It allows me to define masculinity on my own terms and quite frankly I don’t see submission conflicting at all with being masculine. I can be both masculine in the most positive sense of that and still find incredible meaning in offering submission to an assertive, dominant woman. As I think about, perhaps it would be a very good experience for me to be required to wear female panties. That might be just the thing to help me to continue stripping away the outdated societal expectations for the male gender and continuing my journey towards achievement of a deeper connection with my submissive nature. Do the wearing female panties make a man a sissy? I think not. I think instead of finding this practice humiliating or embarrassing, submissive men should view being made to wear panties as an opportunity for them to offer fitting tribute to the beauty, softness, and caring of the sexy dominant females we feel this common and powerful need to submit to.

At present, my Mistress does not require me to wear female panties. The shopping assignment I mentioned at the beginning was for another purpose and I wasn’t required to purchase the panties for the purpose of wearing them. But more and more I find myself intrigued by the idea of wearing panties because of the conflicting feelings it produces for me. On the one hand I find myself feeling reluctance to do it yet on the other hand there is definitely that part of me that wants to. Perhaps this is exactly the element that produces those strong feelings of the erotic and that I find satisfyingly arousing.

1 comment:

Female In Charge said...

Men in panties are very sexy. In addition, it is a great method of control and dominance.