Until I began exploring BDSM and D/s I had never heard of orgasm denial and certainly had never practiced it. I have always enjoyed a healthy sex drive and when not in an intimate relationship, I tend to masturbate on a very regular basis. Such is the case for me at present, as I have taken a voluntary hiatus from vanilla relationships because I have just not found them very fulfilling in light of my submissive nature. I have actually come to the point where I believe it is actually unfair to engage in an intimate relationship with a female who I know is not capable or willing to embrace this aspect of my personality and sexuality, knowing that I will quickly become frustrated and lose interest.
At any rate, once I experienced denial for the first time, I instantly knew it was something I found extremely appealing. I readily admit that part of it is sexual. I very much like being repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm without being allowed to climax. This produces for me intense feelings of arousal as well as physiological and psychological need. I relish the build up, anticipation and the frustration denial produces as it serves in the end to make my orgasm much stronger and more satisfying than normal. Even with as little as three days of denial my orgasms go beyond simply a genital focused experience and become more of the “total body” orgasmic event that women sometimes talk about experiencing.
Before beginning this current task, I had not to my memory gone more than five days without an orgasm since I first began masturbating. As I write this it has now been nine days since I have had an orgasm. As a result I am experiencing both physical as well as mental effects of the denial. My testicles feel differently, they fell both heavy and full. Since the fourth day of the task, I have awakened each morning with an erection and felt immediate and incredible need for self stimulation. My penis becomes erect routinely during the day even when I am not particularly thinking about anything sexual. At times I experience precum leakage during the day with no stimulation whatsoever. In addition I find that not only my arousal is heightened but my other senses as well. Colors seem more vibrant, my sense of taste and smell seem enhanced and I feel increased levels of energy and creativity.
Physical manifestations aside, I also find orgasm denial appealing because of how it resonates with my submissiveness. Erotic sexual denial, in its various forms is associated with, through creation of a heightened state of sexual need, producing a more pliable and agreeable mindset for the person being denied. I certainly find this true for me as orgasm denial heightens my awareness of my submissive nature. It channels and focuses my submissive desires and brings clarity and direction to my life as a submissive male, especially in regards to my sexual energy being re-directed into submissive activities and focus on attention and service to my Mistress.
Orgasm denial is a powerful symbol of male sexual submission, of male vulnerability and of men losing sexual control. The practice is also a powerful tool that allows dominant females to exercise control and training over a highly intimate and psychologically significant part of their partners' lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation, and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. This technique gives the dominant partner enjoyable feelings of control and power and produces for the submissive male a strong reminder that he is being controlled.
Articles I have read indicate that subjects can be safely kept in denial for periods of around 2 to 4 weeks. Most sources agree that men should be permitted release generally after about fourteen days for health reasons, to reduce the risk of prostate cancer, inflammation, muscular atrophy, (orgasm involves the prostate muscles) or tissue damage to the prostate, as orgasms help to flush out the build up of toxins which accumulate within the prostate gland. When I began my current task, I made an informal goal of attempting 10 days of denial which will be twice the length I have ever experienced before. It remains to be seen if I will be able to accomplish that as I am very near the point of begging for release as I write this piece. But I do know that in the days to come, I would like to experience increasing periods of denial.
The marvelous intensity of my much anticipated orgasmic release aside, I very much like the discipline of imposed chastity as it enhances my submissive sensibilities. It helps me tremendously to focus on what is important; obedience and submission to my Mistress and what is not; my penis. And it is quite appealing to me at least to be allowed the occasional exquisitely powerful orgasms rather than experiencing more frequent but decidedly more ordinary ones.