Above all she would recognize my submission to her as something intrinsically valuable and desirable possess. A fair exchange or equivalent to the dominance she gives in return. She would be exacting, taking full advantage of the power given to her, but would be capable and willing to share the pleasure from my gift of submission. Submission is in a real sense a gift, not in the sense of something that is transferred by one person to another without any expectation of receiving something in return, but in the sense of something that is freely and willingly given. I choose to submit, it is not something that another can demand or take from me by force.
She would first and foremost, be firmly in control of her own life and emotions, otherwise how could she inspire confidence in me that she could control mine. She would possess the capacity to be stern and demanding when it was called for, even to the point of provoking me to cry real tears. But she would also have the capacity to act as the consummate lover, able to kiss those tears away, without stepping out of character. In times of trouble she could easily step outside the role of Mistress to be a supportive friend, lover and partner, never forgetting that above all else we were together joined in a loving relationship between two caring human beings. She would be quick to grasp the differences between fantasy and reality and would never demand that I put her before my career or family, simply to satisfy capricious needs.
To win my mind, body, spirit, and love she would understand that she must first win and then continually nurture my trust. She would manifest humor, intellect, kindness and warmth. She would demonstrate wisdom in her guidance and training inspiring confidence in me that she was knowledgeable, deserving of my devoted attention and that she is a woman I can learn from and whose direction I could always implicitly trust. She would be romantic and protective making me feel that our relationship was something she jealously safeguarded and considered precious. She would demonstrate to me that she is someone I can lean on and depend on.
She would nurture and nourish my submission by instructing me in her lessons of obedience and would be a strong and unyielding teacher. She would accept no flaw, nothing less than my very best efforts at attaining her ideal of submissive perfection. She would never discipline without good reason or in anger. When it was necessary she would always discipline with a knowledgeable and careful hand.
She would always be open to communication and discussion, always willing to hear my wants, needs and desires, even if ultimately she decided that they were not things she considered to be in my best interests. She would be patient, taking time to learn my limits, fully aware that as my trust in her grows, so would my willingness to have my limits stretched and challenged.
She would fully comprehend that I submit to her out of my deeply felt desires and need to please her. My compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. She would understand the fragile nature of the mind and body and would never purposely violate the trust given to her. She would be secure enough to laugh at herself and the absurdities of life, open-minded enough to explore and learn new things, and strong enough to grow. Her tools would be mind, body, spirit, and love. She would understand that each partner in a relationship gains most from pleasuring the other and that in the final analysis trust and love are the only bindings that truly hold.
Artwork Credit: Paolo Grossi