Monday, June 9, 2008

Is There Really a Point to This?

An email from a friend I received the other day prompted me to turn my thoughts to this blog and whether it is actually in any measurably way meeting the intent behind its creation. Primarily I intended this to be an exercise in throwing out my own ideas about things I am learning about D/s, submissiveness among men, female led relationships and related ideas associated with these particular concepts of an alternative lifestyle, and hopefully to spark discussion about them so that I could benefit from the perspectives of others.

Almost from the beginning I have been chagrined by the lack of comments from readers. Occasionally I do get very wonderful well thought out comments which I have deeply and sincerely appreciated. I don’t often respond to comments because I have already stated my own opinion and don’t wish for people to feel I want to re-direct the discussion back to my own stated position. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m trying to learn and figure things out myself and I know I don’t have all the answers. So my desire for comments is not motivated by ego or any other selfish motive beyond wanting to know what others who share an interest in the things I write about think. On the best day to date, five people took time to make comments about an essay of interest to them but on most days, no one comments.

Yes, I do understand that some people come here just to read and participating through commenting is just not something that interests them. Yet when I read other blogs, as I do on a habitual basis, I rarely see a post with no comments and many posts have several each day. Based on the average number of daily visitors to this blog, one could assume that there must be those who are interested in reading what is posted here or the numbers would it seem decline over time yet they remain fairly constant. But I have to believe that number of comments really is the criteria I should be using to judge whether this blog is or is not a success as far as my intent for maintaining it.

My friend suggested that my posts may be too lengthy and given that many of us these days have rather short attention spans or are pressed for time, some simply can’t devote the time necessary to completely read the posts much less think about the topic and formulate a comment. I admit I do tend to be wordy and when I’m thinking about a particular topic I tend to write almost everything that occurs to me about it. So perhaps there is some truth to my friend’s opinion.

It was my decision to create this blog and to continue posting to it so I’m not of course looking for sympathy. But to be honest it requires a good bit of time to research a topic and then create what I hope is always a cogent essay about the topic that people will find interesting to read and consider. Time I could easily use for other things like working on my own relationships, trying to complete my novel or any number of other worthwhile endeavors. If by and large this blog does not reflect ideas you consider worthy of considering and discussing then there is really no point to it or to the expenditure of time I give to it.

I’m not begging for comments here nor am I asking anyone to step beyond their comfort level and comment when that isn’t something they find appealing. But more and more I am considering whether the time and effort in finding topics, researching them and posting essays daily is really an efficient use of time, a resource we all have in limited supply.


countrygl said...

ahh i agree.. no one comments on anything anymore.. i personally only write my blog to get out thoughts and feelings...thats why most people blog.. or its why i blog at least.. it helps clear my heaed.. as for reaseacrching and stuff like that for topics... if you keep doing it good for you someone culd be reading it and they culd see what you wrote.. and well it could be exactly what they need to here.. if you know what i mean!

bella said...

I've only recently encountered your blog but be sure that I'll become a regular visitor. I find your articles not only very informative but nicely written as well.

Don't worry too much about the comments. You may become surprised to find out that despite the lack of feedback, your blog may actually have high readership.

As for the article length, I don't think that it's exactly an issue. Personally, I appreciate the effort you make to write these "lengthy" pieces. They're very well thought out and well researched. Props to you for that!

Don't despair. Like countrygl said, it's just that no one comments on anything anymore.

Just keep on writing! :)

M said...

If you are looking from more perspectives from your readers, you might try asking questions. Most of your essays seem to stand on their own. They are written on topics it feels like you have developed firm opinions about. I imagine you might get a few more insightful comments if you asked questions directly of your readers. You might also present more than one opinion on a topic and ask for reader input.

~ MS

s said...

Yes. There's a point to this.

You write very well. It's clear to me that your opinions are well-considered. Hence, I really enjoy your articles...when I have the time to read them. For, honestly, every day you've added a considerably long essay. There are times I visit your blog and say to myself "maybe later". "Prolific" is a word that comes to mind!

Please do keep writing! You have a growing community of fans, I suspect.

~ eclectic enchantress ~ said...

I read your blog when I can. I don't often comment as it is hard for me to find time just to read. I blog myself for the sake of talking to myself and barfing out what I'm thinking. I enjoy reading your posts and I am sure there are many others that do as well!!


- c -

Eileen said...

I agree with your friend, and with a few of the other posters. While I always enjoy visiting your blog and reading your thoughts, most of the time I have to put you in my "maybe later" pile because your posts are simply too long for me to read in the context of my daily blog reading.

Some suggestions, if I may:
Why write everything that comes to mind the first time around? Save content for later posts, and work one or two points clearly and simply.

You tend to write in long paragraphs. Skimming and quick reading is facilitated by spaced text and line breaks. Perhaps think about breaking your style up a bit?

Consider if blogging is the best medium for you. Might you be better served putting out a monthly digest or magazine in a printable format, so that your readers can easily take it with them?

You're obvious intelligent and obviously very articulate. As such, you have the potential to raise great discussions. However, blogs attract comments and regular readers not only through your theories, but through your personality and your personal experience. Maybe think about letting that shine through a bit more?

Finally, if you really want to get a sense of your readership without relying on comments, consider researching and installing a blog statistics counter that can let you know how many visitors you have on a daily basis.

Silly said...

Mr. Property, It's peculiar. I have some intuitive sense of why so few comment on your obviously sincere efforts, but it is very difficult to articulate. Excessive length absolutely doesn't capture the issue. Length is irrelevant. It is really around the issues of authenticity, trust, and relationship building. Nobody will comment if they don't trust your authenticity and don't believe you want to build a relationship with them. And that is the situation. Sorry. You are sincere but not authentic. Your relationships are pitifully weak based on lecturing your target. And, nobody would trust you much cuz you seem to think primarily only about the consistency of your argument.

Didn't you write a while ago about some sort of list of things you wanted your dom to do to you or to punish you with, or something like that. Anyway, i am too lazy and stupid to look it up, but i recall it was totally self serving with no regard for the feelings or desires of your dominant partner. If you want us to talk to you, you have to think about what we need to hear from you. i am a complete idiot, so pleaaaaaase ignore my comments. thanks and good luck.

s said...

I suggest you take "Silly"'s very last bit of advice, and completely disregard the rest. Authenticity is not the issue at all.

Look, if you're expecting your blog to become a serious forum for discussion, you've probably got a long uphill climb. I can think of one or two blogs on this subject which qualify, and they've been around for quite some time. Be patient. Keep writing in whatever manner you're most comfortable with...if long posts are in your nature, go with that. You've got insightful things to say, so people will read.


Anonymous said...

I personally don't want you to stop blogging, but if you need to prioritize your time, you need to do what you have to do.

I've commented a couple times, but sometimes I don't. There are many reasons I don't comment. Sometimes I don't have anything to say that isn't obvious or trite. Sometimes the topic is too complicated or emotionally fraught for me to come up with something right away. And, most often, I don't comment because I fear sounding stupid and/or offending someone.

Silly said...

Joe, I was wrong about the authenticity as s so rightly pointed out. i am usually wrong so i am not surprised. i do note that s's blog which is basically about him trying to get an uncaring wife to read a book, is wildly authenthic and he had 44 comments on his first 10 posts, you had 2 on your first 10. Someone like Kate on femdom101 got 55 comments on her first 10 posts, and she sets the standard for authenticity. A guy like Axe who blogs about his pitiful fruitless search for a dominant partner in NYC, gets 29 comments on his first 10 posts. And whatever you say about how ineffectually he goes about his search, he is authentic in who he is and what he does.

So, since your lack of comments is not due to authenticity, what is it do too. Silly finds it mysterioso! i do however wonder what you think. Why the lack of comments? hopefully you won't read this, and if you do, you will totally ignore it, as my stupid comments always deserve. YOU are a great man. Silly

s said...


I hope you'll post again.

You write well, and I enjoy reading your work.


Anonymous said...

Dear sweet boy,

you do write well. It is nice to find like minded boys in the world. It is nice to see the males point of view in regard to a romantic D/s relationship.

If I may, I would like to introduce you to another favorite of Mine........ I hope you enjoy reading Her stuff =)

I will agree some writings are too long..... breaking them up or making 2 parters??

your writings are interesting and well put togeather, so don't give up from lack of response.

Now be a good boy and go write..........


Anonymous said...

I seem to have arrived here five years too late, but I'm very grateful if found it. I'm a strong women, who is keen to explore my own submissive side, but also recognise the same needs in my partner. Your big has been invaluable in understanding those needs and recognising how to move our dynamic in a direction that will fulfil them. Thanks you.

I hope in the meantime you've come closer to finding your heart and tongue's desire. X