Self Love

I realized today that I have been remiss in not recognizing that May is National Masturbation Month! Although most of us today are aware that masturbation isn't anything to be ashamed of many are still constrained by the notion that it's a selfish, immature activity or a second rate substitute for partner sex. We live in a society in which sexual expression has always been legislated and restricted and the pursuit of pure pleasure is frequently condemned as selfish and childish. A lot of people who consider themselves free of sexual hang-ups still believe sex is only good if it involves two loving people. The fact that masturbation is a pleasurable end in itself gets short shrift in mainstream sex manuals, which focus on masturbation as only a useful tool in the building of a better sex life with one's partner. For those like me not presently involved in an intimate relationship, not only do I find self pleasure nothing to be ashamed of, it is actually a necessity I observe on regular basis. I don’t spend endless hours trolling the porn sites diddling with myself for something to do, so I don’t consider myself in the mold of a wanker yet I do engage in the activity because I feel the need for sexual release and of course because for men, it promotes a healthy prostate.

The birth of National Masturbation Month came about in 1995 and was created by Good Vibrations in protest of the firing of Clinton appointed U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders. Elders lost favor in the administration when she responded to questions about safer sex by saying that “Masturbation is something that perhaps should be taught.” Elders' statement was both practical and supported by sex-positive sex educators everywhere. The folks at Good Vibrations realized that the conservative factors that booted Elders from office were making sex less safe and fun by making masturbation seem shameful. And what better way to make masturbation more visible and accessible than to give it its own month of fun events and education. May was chosen for this observance because according to the good folks at Good Vibrations, “The merry, merry month of May has long been seen as symbolizing sexual awakening. Also, because May and masturbation both start with M -- it's nice and alliterative.”

For those who may be interested, Cory Silverberg, will be happy to help you read more about it when it comes to the issue of self love if you care to check out his Sexuality Blog on the About.com: Sexuality page. There are links to the colorful history of masturbation, myths about masturbation and a plethora of links to all about masturbation.

I’m always curious about what people think about when indulging in masturbation. I really enjoy contemplating some very rich and racy fantasies which for me makes the experience much more satisfying. If you still find yourself feeling this is a selfish, immature pursuit, you need not be left out of the May celebration. Simply include your partner. Only a few times in my life have I actually performed the act with a female onlooker but when requested to do so in response to her curiosity, while a bit daunting in the beginning I quickly warmed to the task. And as a man I can also say from past experience, there is really not much that can compare with how erotic it is to watch a female masturbate. Very hot!

Okay now that I have actually written an article which features the word “masturbation” or its derivative no less than fifteen times, I feel I have done my part to pay homage to this festive celebration of self love. Well almost enough…will you excuse me now?

Forced Chastity

Beginning a special task for my Mistress today which features orgasm denial likely is what brought this to the forefront of my mind again and caused me to want to write about this topic today. I have however spent a good deal of time exploring the idea of forced chastity since learning about it. Actually I very much enjoy orgasm denial activities because as my arousal builds, my submissive feelings deepen. And I really view forced chastity as the ultimate in orgasm denial activities. I suspect that I might actually be able to launch into sub space simply from experiencing this activity if I could be denied for a sufficient period of time. How long a period that would require I have no idea, as I have never gone without an orgasm for more than a week since discovering the joys of self-pleasure during puberty.

There are a number of alternatives that a Mistress could employ in putting her trusty male submissive on a forced chastity regimen. The method that most appeals to me is the use of a locked chastity tube device. The trade photograph I used above gives even someone who is not familiar with these the basic idea of how they work. The photograph is of a CB-6000 and the CB series is really it appears, the gold standard in the particular arena. There are several models to choose from, the CB-6000 being the top of the line in these models, but only one of those available in the series. Less expensive but equally effective models are available. The CB series consists of a molded clear plastic tube which is fitted over the flaccid penis and then connected to a cock ring affair that goes over the base of the penis and behind the balls. At the connection point, a point is provided where a lock can be attached. The device does several things simultaneously. It completely removes a man’s access to his penis and stops masturbation in its tracks. It also serves to retard erections by keeping the penis encased. Provisions have been made in the design to allow for urination and the conduct of personal hygiene while the device is installed. One benefit of the CB series is the plastic construction which makes them airport screening friendly. Chastity devices are available from other manufactures that are made of stainless metal construction but these would of course lead to embarrassing invasive searches if the man wearing on of those has to fly frequently or pass through other security screenings in the course of his employment. I must admit the metal ones do look very sexy to me and I think the feel would be great. Yet, I have to admit the plastic CB devices are more practical.

At least to me one of the most erotic attractions of these devices is the “padlock” feature. One’s Mistress becomes the official “key holder” of a serialized padlock. It is recommended that some method be created to provide for access to a key by the male in extreme emergencies, but for all intents and purpose, the mistress is the sole key holder. The device cannot be removed without either the key or by cutting off the lock. The later is discouraged by the fact that the special locks have serial numbers so the male could not possibly cut his off and then simply replace it with a similar one to hide the fact that he had removed his device. So quite literally, the man is at the mercy of his key holder

I truly believe I would enjoy the experience of one of these devices which would help to control my orgasm as well as even eliminate opportunities for erections. As most men do, I tend to consider erections as something I must do something about. As I have shared before, I like most men, am a prisoner of my penis. Arousal continually tempts me weakening resolve and stealing attention away from the needs and desires of my Mistress.

As a virile, sexual, and easily aroused submissive man, I'm horny a good part of the time. One effective way for my dominant female partner to take complete control of my penis and orgasms would be to put me into a physical chastity device removing not just the temptation of orgasm but masturbation as well. Keeping me “locked up” would result in my sexual release being prescribed for me on terms dictated by my dominant female.

Some release is needed to maintain health as having orgasms are a part of maintaining healthy prostate health for men. I have seen conflicting information but generally it seems that most people who practice orgasm denial suggest men should be allowed to orgasm at least every two weeks to a month for health reasons. However, there is also another intriguing activity, known as prostate “milking” which can accomplish the prostate health function without the male actually experiencing a typical erotically produced orgasm. But I’ll save that topic for another day.

Talking Point:

For Dominant Women: Would you consider putting your submissive man into physical chastity? If so, how often would you allow him sexual release?