At Your Service

Today my post is dedicated to sharing my report to my Mistress on my experiences with the observance of our weekly mantra…

My Dear Mistress,

For this week's mantra, as has become my habit, I began my preparations again on Saturday evening with attention to personal hygiene by freshly trimming my pubic hair and then by using a razor to shape the area in an attractive manner and to smoothly shave my scrotum.

I performed our weekly ritual this evening. I was actually very excited about the mantra performance today as it was the very first time for the panty gag. I took a nice hot shower so that I felt fresh and clean and after drying off, I put your collar on my neck and went to our special place reserved for our Sunday ritual where I knelt in my usual fashion, knees widely spread, back straight, head held eye and eyes downcast. Today I experienced the added twist of gagging myself with your panties as you had instructed. I also modified my position slightly again this week, this time placing my hands behind my head with interlocked fingers to raise the difficulty of the position just a bit. I knelt for you in honor of your authority and control over me for twenty-five minutes. After completing that portion of the mantra, I then sat down and composed my response to the topic you assigned me for this week…

Topic Assignment: “For this week's mantra I would like you to consider the non-sexual part of a D/s relationship (perhaps ours in particular?) and things that you would enjoy doing that make you submit to me, but are not at all sexual in nature.”

There are two very distinctive parts to the D/s lifestyle; sexual submission and lifestyle submission. Lifestyle submission is exactly the component you assigned me to contemplate this week because that is the part where non-sexual service comes into play. The first thought that occurred to me was the inherent limitations attendant to a strictly online D/s relationship such as that which we presently share. I do think the very reason that we have focused on the sexual submissive component thus far is because that is just much simpler to accomplish online than lifestyle submission. For example, were we involved in a real life face-to-face relationship there would be so much more that I could do for you from a service standpoint. Here are some things I imagine being able to do for you under those circumstances;

• Provide you with non-sexual massages


• Draw your bath and bathe you


• Complete actual chores such as house cleaning


• Prepare meals


• Grocery shopping and running errands for you


• Laundry


• Drive you to places you wished to go

Of course since our relationship is only online, I can’t actually do those types of things for you as much as I might wish I could, however that does not relieve me of the responsibility of accomplishing those things that I can do to serve you. Here are some things that I can do for you from a service standpoint now;

• Give you my willing and cheerful obedience at all times


• Give you my complete attention when we chat and by carefully reading and responding to your correspondence


• Keep any rules and rituals that you give me exactly according to your instructions
  Carry out all instructions and assignments that you give me in a timely manner completing them to the best of my ability


• Show you my respect at all times


• Communicate regularly my affection and devotion for you


• Graciously accept and perform any punishment assignments you give me when I fail you


• Assist you with your administrative duties at the Academy in whatever ways you desire and deem appropriate


• As we recently discussed, I would like to show my devotion and affection for you by sending you small gifts (tribute) when you feel comfortable with that idea.

Willingly completing tasks given me by you as my Mistress such as the things listed above which I can perform for you now are accomplished with the intent of pleasing you and to be of actual service to you. I also receive pleasure and satisfaction came from knowing I am providing you with a needed or desired service and that you are pleased by the things I am able to offer you. This also gives me as your submissive a sense of accomplishment and great joy. You always make me feel that my small acts of service are always appreciated greatly.

Rules, rituals, instructions and assignments are things that you give to me for very important reasons. Following them brings me feelings of pride and happiness from belonging to you and remind me that you care for me. Rules are in place to keep me in line, place my heart and mind in the submissive mindset, and to make sure that I show you my respect and honor at all times. Instructions and assignments are meant to help me improve myself for you. I follow all of these so that I can present myself as a loving and obedient man for you.

When I am given rules, instructions, rituals or assignments by you, I am always excited that you felt the need to give me things to do for you, to make me available for you always. You give me a wide range of things in my life to help me to improve and grow as a submissive. Without these I would have no purpose and my goal of pleasing you would have no method. Accomplishing these things not only govern aspects of my life and behavior but also allow me to express my submission to you by following them.

With all respect,
CJ

What Does it Really Mean?

A Merriam-Webster definition as I see it relating to the D/s lifestyle;

sub·mit: to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another.

As a submissive I willingly and consensually cede control and authority to my dominant. My dominant then takes responsibility for that control and for making decisions within our relationship, in the areas we have negotiated and I have given my consent to give up control and relinquish power.

Being a submissive is not a choice for me nor is it a “role” I step in and out of. It is an integral part of my nature and it is how I define myself all of the time relative to my dominant and our relationship. Being a submissive is a personality trait for me and something I feel I received genetically, just as I received my maleness. In neither do I have a choice or the power to change. I tend to be by personality a person who wants to follow orders and wants to please. Of course someone might be a pleaser type without being submissive. But with me, I naturally tend to obey and please without any conscious thought involved or without any consideration of what I might get back in return from the other person. There is no sense of making a sacrifice when I perform services for my dominant in an attempt to please her. It simply makes me happy to do it.

As a submissive I derive intense physical and psychological pleasure from giving up control to my dominant. I experience intense feelings of fulfillment and affirmation from this power exchange. The gratification is derived from my constant awareness of the power roles and can be intellectual, emotional and even erotic. Submission is a need I feel so deeply that absent a dominant female in my life to submit to, I feel dissatisfied, unfulfilled and unhappy. When I have been in “vanilla” relationships and can’t express submission to my female partner I quickly become dissatisfied and unhappy and eventually I look elsewhere in hopes of finding the assertive dominant female I need who will allow me to submit.

As I have come to understand it, there are two different types of submission, lifestyle submission and erotic submission. Lifestyle submission involves things like giving up my personal rights, giving up my freedom of choice, or surrendering control over my property. I think the defining point when it comes to lifestyle submission is those areas where I relinquish control in order to please my dominant and make her happy.

The loss of control is erotic and I define erotic as anything that serves to increase sexual desire. Erotic submission is the part that involves the sexual. Submission allows the sexual and sensual part of me to bloom and helps me to shed inhibitions. As I submit and experience the eroticism of loss of control, kinks begin to surface. Kinks and fetishes are nothing more than those activities that I come to understand cause me to feel the loss of control. Bondage is an obvious example for when I am bound I am totally helpless and at the mercy of my partner. Teasing is erotic because it suggests sexual gratification but then is followed by complete withdrawal of stimulation leaving me in a state of frustrated heightened arousal. Enforced chastity is erotic for me because it serves to remind me of loss of control and power. Being controlled during sex by my partner is erotic and a gives that sense of loss of control. Being required to do things that I would not ordinarily do or request serves this same function. Erotic submission can be measured by how aroused I become and how excited that makes me to obey and to be controlled. Lifestyle submission is measured by how much I want to please my Mistress and how much I want to make her happy.